tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81126648508030366402024-03-04T21:55:17.763-08:00The story of a girlCarebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-22330484759821231392013-12-14T21:48:00.001-08:002013-12-14T21:48:18.620-08:00Long time no chat....Wow I knew I'd fall behind, it always happens.<br />
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Anyway I'm just feeling the need to get some stuff out and on the computer screen so if you don't want to read then feel free to leave this page.<br />
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I'll start with back in the summer. This summer, June 2013 to be exact I left my job of driving school bus a week early to start with Transport Training Centers of Canada to get my AZ license to drive Transport Truck. That was great. I learned what I needed to do, and that included learning how to drive standard as I had never done it before in my life, to take my road test August 7th 2013 where I passed and got my License. YAY for me. I totally didn't think I would pass but everyone else felt that I would.<br />
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That was great. I had my license so now came the part of finding a job. I was looking for mostly local work, meaning I would be home everyday which would have been great since Alex got the diagnoses of Aspergers Syndrome from a physcologist, well that's what she's figuring anyway. Couldn't find local work. Or at least any local work that people would give a chance to someone just coming out of school. So I went back to driving school bus while talking everything over with Leo about what I was going to do. My biggest fear has always been that I'll pay for the $8000 course and it'll do me no good cause I can't get a job. Well we decided that for the year or so for me to get the experience I'd go to a job that would have me working over the road so after getting my passport and applying for what I needed, I applied to a few places for OTR work. Finally I got an email and phone call from one company who incidently had come into the school to talk to us about working for them. Anyway they told me what I had to do and I did it and I started training with them in November. Everything was going great. I did a weekend full of in class training, then went for a week with a trainer half days while the other half days were spent in the classroom or on the computer doing things. Finally I was paired up with a training engineer to go out and learn about crossing the border and stuff. That was great except for the 2nd day we turned on the heat in the truck and the windshield cracked. If we'd have gotten stopped we would have had a fine. So we took our delivery to Illinois and dropped it off early, because it was thanksgiving for our american friend's, and drove back to the Operating center in Gary Indiana. We went into the shop and told the mechanic about it and he said he would let the glass guy know and he should do it Friday morning cause he was pretty sure the glass guy wasn't going to be in on Thanksgiving. So we were stuck at the OC (operating center) for at least Thursday. Friday come along and apparently the mechanic from Wednesday didn't call it in so we were then told that the mechanic who was on at that time would call the glass guy and hopefully he'd be in that day but he may not come til Monday. Looks like it's gonna be day number two. So we finally find out that yes the glass guy would be in but we weren't sure what time he was coming. The desicion was made that we would stay in a hotel room, paid for by the company, for the Friday night and then leave Saturday if the windshield was fixed. As we were getting in the hotel shuttle the glass guy got there and was fixing the window. <br />
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Finally we left at 6 the next morning from the hotel and were able to get a load heading back up here to the great white north. So we do our pretrip and everything and headed out to pick up our load. Unfortunetly we get there and we don't have a pick up number. So once more we had to sit and wait. We had to wait 3 hours before we finally had a number. Thankfully it didn't take long for they loaders to load us and we were finally on our way heading to Canada. By now this is Saturday afternoon and my TE was leaving on Holiday on Wednesday so our days were numbered. We managed to pull into a truck stop in Windsor Ontario after crossing the border Saturday night and that's where we slept in the truck. Sunday it was a trip to Montreal Quebec with a quick stop at another OC in Guelph, our home OC. Finally we make it to Montreal where we dropped our loaded trailer, and then once more we had to wait on a trailer that was to go to GM. Got the trailer over there on the Monday and then got another load to be picked up so we headed to pick up an empty trailer in Laval Quebec and headed to Gatineau Quebec where we got loaded and headed on back to our home OC. Monday night we arrived and stayed in the truck. Tuesday came and I spoke with the trainer who trained me in class, and even asked if I could have more days out with another TE as the guys who had trained with me were getting 10-12 days or so out before they were gonna have to do their road tests. My in class trainer asked how many days we were out and we told him 8 and he said he was fine with that. Trouble was <b>I</b> wasn't. He started me on what they call soft skills stuff and then another trainer came up to me and said we were going to go and do my SQT (skills qualification test) well I told him I wasn't ready so we were able to put it off. To bad we couldn't have put it off a little longer, because I had to do it the next day. <br />
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Wednesday I showed up at the OC at 7 to do the SQT. Went out and drove the truck and failed like I knew I would because I wasn't confident in a couple of the skills I was asked to do. So was told that I was going out either right away or in the afternoon with another trainer to do it again. Did they offer me any time to practice? Nope. No time to work on what I had trouble with so I just had to go and do it again after lunch. After lunch came and I failed yet again. Why? Because I still had issues with the same things. So was told I would have to do it the next day. Was I ready? Did I have a chance to work on the issues? Again the answer is a big fat <b>NO</b> so went out with yet another trainer. As we were walking to the truck, the trainer says, <i>"When you pass today this will be your truck"</i> I felt better, felt more confident and just prayed I wasn't asked to do the one thing I knew I couldn't do. Did my prayers come true? Nope I ended up having to do it again. And once again I couldn't do it. So that made number 3 a complete fail as well. When we got back to the OC I was asked how I thought it went. I said I thought it went ok except for one turn and that if I had a couple more days just working on that then I'd be fine and would be able to pass. Was told that he couldn't give me anymore time and that I had failed, but he'd mark me as OK for rehire and that if I went out and got a job with a company that did more local, city deliveries that I could come back, do a road test and they'd rehire me. So that left me unemployed.<br />
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So that brings me to today. It's now been 10 days and I've been out applying to other jobs but so far none of them have worked out. I had one interview and they passed on me cause they don't feel I can make the commitment for the two years they want. <br />
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This close to Christmas and I'm depressed. I can't afford Christmas presents for my kid, I can't afford my horse and am seriously considering selling him since I can't ask Leo to pay for him for me. I'm supposed to be moving him the end of the month and I don't know how I'm going to afford that either. Leo suggested going back to driving bus, but there's only a week left before the kids are out for school break for Christmas. I have no idea what I'm going to do cause I can't even seem to get a job working at McDonald's. <br />
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Needless to say feeling like shit right now, and needing a way to escape reality if even for a few hours. And seeing the Hobbit last night didn't help even if my best friend thought it would. <br />
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I think the only thing that would help right now would be a job, but I'm beginning to wonder if that will ever happen. Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-86189180733785831372012-07-04T10:54:00.002-07:002012-07-04T10:54:28.579-07:00Life couldn't be all roses right?So I haven't written for a few days but here's another update.<br />
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Things with Jack are wonderful for the most part. He's such a good horse. So fun to ride. Haven't done anything but walk on him and the occasional steps in trot when he was feeling grumpy. Yes the extent of his grumpiness is getting into a trot and backing up at the halt, both no big deals for me to handle.<br />
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So for the summer months at least I was going to have him on Pasture Board where he'd be outside all day and night, then for the winter months bring him in. June 30th was the first night he was left out, and immediately jumped or tried to jump a 4ft fence, when I say tried he ended up breaking the fence so the pasture horses all escaped, luckily the barn manager and staff were still there to round them up. <br />
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Barn manager tried to put him in the field again with the horses on Pasture board and he didn't want to have anything to do with them, once again attempting his escape over the 4ft fence. Needless to say he's now in a field with one other horse at night but with his friend's the rest of the day. <br />
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Got a text today from the barn manager saying that he's not handling the outdoor board and that he's lost a lot of weight. So now I'm scrambling trying to figure out just how I can keep him happy, and keep the weight on him and not be in debt up to my ears. <br />
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I'm going to look at one barn tonight, that is a possibility to move him too if the barn is nice and the cost is in my price range. It wouldn't be such a big deal, I'd put him on indoor at the place we're at if I was working still, but with it being summer, I'm off for two months. If I end up staying at Walden Ridge, I will look for a Part Boarder but if I do move him to this other barn I wouldn't need one.<br />
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All of that board stuff after I actually took the plunge and got on him without my Alli safety blanket, as I call her, getting on him before me and being there for me. :) I got on him with Leo there watching me and holding him for me when I needed!!!!! I had gone out the night before I got one him with the intent to get on him that night but I chickened out, using the excuse the bugs were bad when really it was my low self esteem getting in the way. Other people were in the ring and I thought more about what they MIGHT think about me then what I really wanted to do. So Leo and I went out yesterday morning, after I cried the night before cause I couldn't get on him, and I got on him while no one else was around. :) I cried again but they were happy tears this time. :) So now I know I can get on my horse without my safety blanket. :)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our first ride together without Alli our safety blanket. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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I knew it wasn't going to be all roses with him, he had to make my life difficult in some way. :)<br />
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Good thing he's cute and I love him. :)Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-16240907594255109262012-06-26T18:42:00.000-07:002012-06-26T18:42:23.244-07:00I love my horse!I love my horse! Have I mentioned that? I'm sure I must have because I absolutely LOVE my horse!<br />
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I went out to the barn to work him a bit tonight on the lunge line and this time we didn't need to use the whip as motivation! YAY! He's such a smart horse. I walked him and trotted him on both reins and then decided to see how he did on the Canter. We picked it up on the right rein in no time! The left we were a little slower with but eventually got it. :) Then I let him off the lunge line to see what he would do and he walked right over to a corner of the outdoor ring and started munching on grass. Yes he's very food motivated. :) I got the lead rope on his halter and then walked him around the ring a bit. Had him step over a trot pole that was on the ground. At first he didn't want to step over it and tried to fight me but eventually he got the hang of it and walked over like a pro. :) We walked over a few more a few times then I thought what the hell let's try a trot over a pole. The only time he's trotted over a pole he actually jumped it when Alli was on his back. Tonight there was no jump. He just trotted over it like a pro star!<br />
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Have I mentioned I love him? ;) <br />
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When I got him back to the barn I started scratching him by his the crest of his neck and he was making funny faces cause apparently that's his sweet spot. Leo got video of it with my phone.<br />
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Don't mind my disgustingness. I'm still working on getting me in shape.Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-30936770455516750762012-06-17T19:41:00.001-07:002012-06-17T19:41:25.097-07:00Another installment of teaching a young horse to lunge!Ok well he sort of knows how to lunge, now it's just expanding on that. LOL<br />
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Friday night I came home from work, decided to go for supper so loaded the car with Alex, Judy and I and we went to Swiss Chalet before we headed to the barn. I'd promised Alex he could come see Jack Friday night and it worked well cause Leo had a gaming session so he wasn't home. Anyway we had supper then went to the barn. As always Jack was in his stall munching, I swear he's very motivated by food. Pulled him out of his stall away from his precious hay, and put him in cross ties. Alex at first wanted to groom him so I said he and Judy could groom him. Suddenly Alex didn't want to groom him after only doing half of a horse. Little brat. ;) Anyway Judy finished grooming him while I made him look like a dork. <br />
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I know, he's a gelding but wear's purple. He's sure of his manly ness. :) After Judy finished brushing his tail I took him to the ring with the lunge line and we decided to do some lunging. There were already a few people in the ring so I wasn't sure how exactly this would work, good thing the ring is HUGE! Well he was good at picking up each rein in the walk and trot, I decided to brave it and try some cantering. Hahahaha. That ended up being a joke. Couldn't get it on the one rein but got a few strides on the other. I was happy with that. I'm not in a big rush with him and so I'm not going to push him. We'll progress when we're both in shape. Course if I don't get my butt back into the gym he'll be in better shape than I will. LOL <br />
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Anyway didn't do anything with him today since it was raining and we don't have an indoor ring but hopefully after work tomorrow I don't have to take mom to the hospital to have her knee looked at and Alli and I can get to the barn and ride him.<br />
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<br />Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-3272238899486113422012-06-13T19:25:00.001-07:002012-06-13T19:25:18.872-07:00JackSo I decided to go a different route with this. Now my blog is going to be my adventures with horse ownership. :)<br />
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As some of you may know, cause I'm not sure who actually reads this, but I bought a horse! YAY ME! Ok I wasn't intending on buying one right right away cause I figured I'd work, save up the money to buy a new computer and then the truck and then finally a horse. So I got a little messed up on the order. But anyway, Alli, my coach and friend, will sometimes buy horses and train them and resell them sort of like flipping houses but with horses and the very risk of death and or injury all the time. Now normally she get's the crazy horses and retrains them and resells them. So when she told me she got a new horse I figured he was cute but was going to be crazy. Boy was I surprised! She gave me the details on him- 4 years old, off the track, 16.3hh(every hand is four inches)-but imagine my surprise when she tells me he's sane and actually kind of lazy and that he'd be the perfect first horse for me!<br />
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I told hubby about it and he just smiled. Alli kept telling me to hurry up and get the money and buy him. I was like "If only I could" she kept telling me she'd take payments. :) I sat down and talked to hubby, and Judy who's living with us now, and jokingly told Alli that I would talk to Judy and see if she could help me for now and I'd pay her back. Once again surprise number 2, Judy said she would! So it was settled and Alli and I decided how much a month I would pay her and so on and so forth. So for the next year or so I'm paying her at least a couple hundred. Plus then I have to pay for board, and farrier (which is pretty decent since he's barefoot) and Vet. All in all not bad.<br />
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So yes I've bought a horse. <br />
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My life is really a zoo now! <br />
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So I haven't actually ridden him much yet, just still getting to know him. Everything will come in due time. :) I love him already. He's a smart little cookie and nothing phases him. Except being in his little three stall barn without his other two friend's. Though starting in a couple weeks he's going to be an outdoor pony for the summer. :) The barn where he's at is about a block from the region's international airport, so the planes fly over head constantly. He doesn't care. I was walking around the arena on Friday on his back and a plane flew over head, a car horn honked right beside the ring and one drove past him and he didn't care. I love him!<br />
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I've started, since I don't get on him by myself quite yet, that I'm lunging him. I don't do it to long with him as he is still learning this. They don't lunge on the track so he had to be taught. The other night we tried and we just were both getting frustrated so I stopped. He got one way but couldn't figure out the other. I let him be for a few days, he had his feet trimmed last night, so I made the trek out to the barn tonight and decided to try again. Well I wasn't about to give up on the side he was struggling with, though when he still wasn't getting in after 20 minutes I was feeling VERY frustrated, but we kept at it and FINALLY he got it! I'm so proud of him! So I didn't do much more, and left it on a good note! I love it when it clicks! More later after our next adventure in Lunging. :)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alli Riding him.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Never seen a pole on the ground before! Went over it!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alex loves him too. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<br />Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-60155405411133650512012-02-02T23:21:00.000-08:002012-02-02T23:21:12.615-08:00Something that kept me distractedThis is just something quick that I did while trying to be distracted. <br />
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A before and After. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td></tr>
</tbody></table> So fooling around here's a before and after. What do you think? Skills in PSE are getting better huh? ;) <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-23591070342068254072012-02-02T22:13:00.000-08:002012-02-02T22:13:13.064-08:00A year gone by and I miss you now as much as I did that morning.As I sit here and look at the clock in the corner of my computer screen, that most dreaded hour creeps closer and closer. It's hard to believe that in just a few short hours it will be officially a year since I got that phone call telling me that you had been taken to be with your brother, parents and grand children and great grandchildren that no one got to meet. It was hard to wake up that morning a year ago to hear that phone ringing. As soon as I heard the phone and it registered that it was ringing I knew why it was ringing at 4:30 in the morning. You were gone and you were finally at peace.<br />
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We'd lost you years ago when the Alzheimer's took over. No longer were you the strong man we all looked to to lead our family. You were no longer the man you once were who would take your grandchildren out on the boat for the day fishing on the lake. All that was there when we looked at you were the memories of times gone by.<br />
<br />
As a little girl I looked to you as an inspiration and a hero. You were my grandpa that I loved with all that I was. You were there for me when I needed you.<br />
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That morning a year ago, it was so hard to sit and watch your children cry, and all I could do was go and get food for everyone while they took care of making the arrangements. When the Monday came and we all met in the Funeral home and I saw you looking as though you were sleeping it made me smile just a little knowing you weren't suffering through it anymore. Though seeing you with a clean shaven face and with the weight loss you'd suffered you also didn't look like my grandfather, the man I remembered with the grey mustache just above that lip and how it would tickle everytime I kissed you good-bye.<br />
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Your funeral came that following Tuesday and as I sat there in the church listening I stared at the closed coffin, tears streaming down my face as I used almost a box of Kleenex surrounded by your family and friend's. Wishing we hadn't needed to say good bye but knowing it was best for you, knowing that you were now watching over all of us and fishing everyday as you looked down on us from your perch in the clouds. <br />
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As I sit here writing this I'm reminded of something my mom told me that Alex had said once as they drove passed grandma's house:<br />
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"Grandma I'm going to get a ladder and make it go to heaven so you and nanny and I can go and see papa when he's there." He of course was four at the time and didn't understand everything. <br />
<br />
I sit here and feel the sting of the tears as they build once again behind my eyes just as they did that morning 365 days ago. I think of how now you are probably fishing and teaching my unborn child that I never got to meet to fish, just as you did me. And giving him the love that I had wanted for him. <br />
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Good bye grandpa. I love you and still have an ache in my heart everytime I think of you.Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-40663825841698609302011-12-25T18:11:00.001-08:002011-12-25T18:11:53.041-08:00It's Christmas...Merry fucking Christmas to me. I apologize for the start of that. But I'm just a tad pissed off and upset. Not cool with my depression.<br />
<br />
I suppose I should start at the beginning. So today being Christmas day we spent it with family. Ok great. This year we had it at my brother's and his girlfriend's. Alex loves it there cause he's got Hunter to play with. The two boys get along great. Everything was good. Kids had a blast and got so much crap it wasn't funny. And some of it is literally crap.<br />
<br />
As we were opening gifts, my dad had a pile of gifts for everyone to open. Now I love my dad to death, he's my dad, but sometimes I wonder if he did end up getting any brains or what. I swear he just went searching for things, and didn't even pay for it I'm sure. He tends to go around on Garbage nights in neighbourhoods and picks things up. Ok great, but please don't just guess at what you think Alex, your grandson will like, ask me and I can fill you in. He gets him stuff that he'll never wear or use. Like really was it nessesscary to get him a Karate Gi? He isn't in Karate and probably NEVER will be. And the Fire Station thing is cute but really it's more a toy for like a 4 year old, your grandson is 7.<br />
<br />
So that's fine we open our gifts and it was good. We had dinner, lot's of joking around at the table. Something got said about me working New Year's Eve and my asshole of a brother pipes up seeming shocked that I had a job. Ok it's one night but I'm still making money. I let it slide. I now feel like shit but I try to ignore it as this is my brother's usual thing.<br />
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The night goes on and we're chatting and stuff and something was said. My brother again being the ass that he is, makes a comment and I was pissed. We all think it about him but never say it to him and so I couldn't hold back and I snapped at him "Do you always have to act like you're better than everyone else?" I was that pissed. My mom just told me to stop. Dad wasn't even there and Leo was loading the car to come home. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.<br />
<br />
So now instead of enjoying the rest of Christmas night I'm feeling like a piece of crap because I can't seem to find a job. I want one but I can't seem to find work. Even after taking courses such as Pet Grooming. So normally I feel like crap, now today I feel even worse. It's not like I'm not trying to get work, I am. But I just can't seem to find something.<br />
<br />
I'm not going to go and hide from the world til we have to leave to go to the in laws tomorrow.Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-91739593495769706032011-11-07T06:31:00.001-08:002011-11-07T06:31:16.666-08:00Tragedy: Eric Lamaze's horse Hickstead is dead<iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/zoL5b-KJUvo?fs=1" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" width="459"></iframe>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-57779833795680554622011-11-07T06:31:00.000-08:002011-11-07T06:31:05.608-08:00RIP HicksteadIt's been a tragic weekend for Canadian Showjumping. We lost a champion yesterday in Verona Italy where the fourth leg of the FEI World Cup was taking place. I still feel like I'm in a dream and I'll wake up eventually to hear that Hickstead, the 16h, 15 year old Dutch Warmblood stallion ridden by Eric Lamaze has won yet another prize and not that he collapsed after finishing the 13th fence and died.<br />
<br />
I had been dealing with a neck pain all weekend long, so bad I couldn't move hardly without cringing in pain and was seriously considering going to the Hospital, and really with the wait times you basically only want to go there if your dying. I woke up on Sunday happy that there was no neck pain but then checked Facebook as I normally do and saw messages that were just unbelievable.<br />
<br />
I never got to see the little horse (ok not really a little horse at all) that everyone passed up but Eric, who saw something in his eyes and in the way he tried so hard. Born in 1996 in the Netherlands, he'd been looked at by many riders and all of them passed him over. Torrey Pines Stables and Ashland Stables took ownership of him and Eric was in the saddle training him and riding him to all his victories. The highlight of which was a team silver and individual gold at the 2008 Bejing Olympics amongst other's. <br />
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He gave his heart in everything he did and quickly became the number one horse in the world of Show Jumping and Canada's hero horse. He reminds me of another horse Canada lost in 1999, and that would be Big Ben ridden by Captain Canada himself Ian Millar.<br />
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I'm sitting here, even after seeing the tragic video-which I really shouldn't have watched- still in shock and disbelief that he's actually gone. It's just such a hard thing to really believe that he was just in Calgary at Spruce Meadows winning yet another CN International, and now he's never going to compete again. Eric talked about whether he would ride him again in 2012 in the London Olympics and all signs pointed to yes and now, we won't have our number one rider or horse there.<br />
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RIP Hickstead. You were one in a million and there will never be another like you. You were a Hero to all who knew and loved you. You will be forever missed.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGorS8x054h9mJpKtSwOT_5LXbpp7BYeFZn-AxZ0IrOxUWW7enbFTO43bWjnyk1ZKuXcixI2CVGx5ZTUag6zSwxY4Zc99LDRfcMJxriMwAeB8GiNWeaM3rvRZ0dFuum4zvXzCDFzIHB5iE/s1600/2_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGorS8x054h9mJpKtSwOT_5LXbpp7BYeFZn-AxZ0IrOxUWW7enbFTO43bWjnyk1ZKuXcixI2CVGx5ZTUag6zSwxY4Zc99LDRfcMJxriMwAeB8GiNWeaM3rvRZ0dFuum4zvXzCDFzIHB5iE/s320/2_edited-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
I'm posting the video of it happening in another post, I can't watch it again, I'm ready to cry again at the though. Warning it does contain the death of an animal. It was shown live on tv from Verona Italy.Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-37503455682973624122011-08-18T10:37:00.000-07:002011-08-18T10:37:38.844-07:00Photos, photos and more photosSo I've been spending my time lately with my new computer program, Photoshop Elements 9. $129.99 but WELL worth the money. I needed a new program to edit pictures after I've taken them. Asked a friend of mine who does photography, and she said the best was Photoshop so somehow, still haven't figured out how, I was able to convince my dear hubby to buy Photoshop for me. <br />
<br />
The first night I didn't really do much as I didn't know how to do anything, but clicked on the help button and low and behold there's actual video tutorials! YAY! So I've been watching the videos as I've needed to and then yesterday was spent playing around with Photoshop, almost as much as today has. <br />
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A friend of mine texted me to see how well I know Photoshop, told her I just got it so I'm slowly learning. She said that she is launching a product at Trillium Champs and is wondering if I can do an image of a horse Jumping but with the background taken out and some text. Told her I would play with it and see what I can come up with. She also said that she knows a guy who has print clients needing work done so this could mean a pt job for me. <br />
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The only thing I've really ever been excited about was working on farms in barns shoveling out the stalls and cleaning them. I'm actually excited about this whole photography thing and editing the pics on Photoshop. It's nice to be excited about something again. <br />
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Not sure what else to put here so I'm going to put some pics that I've taken recently and edits I've done.<br />
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Warning picture heavy!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGrO4qbpS6tb78XJLYqsG2NqAseRq6hton3VdJqcyJRbtRzdwfNm4ZDDwIZaFtNsOcWPmdq9obqE1DH5j7KNUBC7TOsBDUcRUNAwQvn3b4JgrO2KWX0lRTGn5AdCpdz3mxaKd_zGqDCMbj/s1600/094_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGrO4qbpS6tb78XJLYqsG2NqAseRq6hton3VdJqcyJRbtRzdwfNm4ZDDwIZaFtNsOcWPmdq9obqE1DH5j7KNUBC7TOsBDUcRUNAwQvn3b4JgrO2KWX0lRTGn5AdCpdz3mxaKd_zGqDCMbj/s320/094_edited-1.jpg" width="230" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Riley. My cousins son at his first birthday party</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDQ9cFPIlxuI9hxKRTvba4y5obFyVC68Z5hVUY_vDic6LrdwFOuwweVPx47eQA0nUaJ3c-n6FSLG3GyJiWjZe9Pf9eToZUyVf0HNtCttOW-H5BFnZPqfYxO5aJ9N2d_FHsFqLjT_OH88_J/s1600/010_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDQ9cFPIlxuI9hxKRTvba4y5obFyVC68Z5hVUY_vDic6LrdwFOuwweVPx47eQA0nUaJ3c-n6FSLG3GyJiWjZe9Pf9eToZUyVf0HNtCttOW-H5BFnZPqfYxO5aJ9N2d_FHsFqLjT_OH88_J/s320/010_edited-1.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A little fun with PS. Took the pick and made it look old fashioned. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjegE0ZnU5JNHi7odB5-ftSDXaPwiOM7_ua5kGT8700edSUPjPGctzrakKEau61obwWQEkzW21ZU4-74H8M2YS0QwDu1IazuOUHThIo1MwmmASIvAiFikUqN32oedPi3nOeoU07ilQbZJVc/s1600/022_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjegE0ZnU5JNHi7odB5-ftSDXaPwiOM7_ua5kGT8700edSUPjPGctzrakKEau61obwWQEkzW21ZU4-74H8M2YS0QwDu1IazuOUHThIo1MwmmASIvAiFikUqN32oedPi3nOeoU07ilQbZJVc/s320/022_edited-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Added the frame. I think it's cute. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWoOrl13LxSK_ip1g_vpftM9V1CQyod0XG1SLVUFERtSTyxZ8UEwM693CZcIj5z6o3ZmRYA8BJIQ8nr2PcmC2W2pELiYOoV74qGGSHro1IIGbaR6RMVGtVpidwJ6XbRSikG7V5cFb_sS4q/s1600/023_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWoOrl13LxSK_ip1g_vpftM9V1CQyod0XG1SLVUFERtSTyxZ8UEwM693CZcIj5z6o3ZmRYA8BJIQ8nr2PcmC2W2pELiYOoV74qGGSHro1IIGbaR6RMVGtVpidwJ6XbRSikG7V5cFb_sS4q/s320/023_edited-1.jpg" width="314" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Left Kole in color and made the rest B&W</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMdpD14l3PAkQRkhjRiDXSxNO-jmtxuBKQ5aOfuPNFFBDg3KS3LuH4NEGEUK5Tppw1mGA5caK3UNSJq7BGtm3D7lZzkd2280TLcUlHZOLCQwGz8GWzbrc1UZcLiQHGSlLbFvy4k-nhSFdu/s1600/025_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMdpD14l3PAkQRkhjRiDXSxNO-jmtxuBKQ5aOfuPNFFBDg3KS3LuH4NEGEUK5Tppw1mGA5caK3UNSJq7BGtm3D7lZzkd2280TLcUlHZOLCQwGz8GWzbrc1UZcLiQHGSlLbFvy4k-nhSFdu/s320/025_edited-1.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I like the dark edges and the circle around Kole</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcmuuRujvGdwvox7R4qGjB0AUbrVq0J-Yfju1yj6AzLCyW7VcBQ3oC9y_qJKy29ALSoJ7wMM-SleT5qSO06ZoqYMyIXdlTgRE3B_CG84NB1EBPwzUoX4-1CMa5KIDDNdi7givcwE6laMmz/s1600/071_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcmuuRujvGdwvox7R4qGjB0AUbrVq0J-Yfju1yj6AzLCyW7VcBQ3oC9y_qJKy29ALSoJ7wMM-SleT5qSO06ZoqYMyIXdlTgRE3B_CG84NB1EBPwzUoX4-1CMa5KIDDNdi7givcwE6laMmz/s320/071_edited-1.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Miss Jewel. We finally had a day we could do it.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH2k53b1xmIHJbLC2sqlE3QXENEH-0ftlcy50WMNpTbplGDM2hhzNZi-UyZue_tsxX8nFyujWGuLv4CAw0FVoOP-34gqcLQ6Ih0ptCeCbip5u4i2b4Du4giS4KVYRoy9QuakVb7HA_KIK3/s1600/075_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH2k53b1xmIHJbLC2sqlE3QXENEH-0ftlcy50WMNpTbplGDM2hhzNZi-UyZue_tsxX8nFyujWGuLv4CAw0FVoOP-34gqcLQ6Ih0ptCeCbip5u4i2b4Du4giS4KVYRoy9QuakVb7HA_KIK3/s320/075_edited-1.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She was wanting to play and see the animals.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPwDrWCAqp8ChKnb2EWCbqwJllhzjQaCUhFbFnfatjuW-jS3YxZi8XWk4EhCvAeXciqz1FoW7wd__aqVPBVCf685vTBGHG2wRpu1he3qvXsmLFKPWdZBg44TsXspqrJHnmX2lkzlrylQ8_/s1600/0712_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPwDrWCAqp8ChKnb2EWCbqwJllhzjQaCUhFbFnfatjuW-jS3YxZi8XWk4EhCvAeXciqz1FoW7wd__aqVPBVCf685vTBGHG2wRpu1he3qvXsmLFKPWdZBg44TsXspqrJHnmX2lkzlrylQ8_/s320/0712_edited-1.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of my favs. Both the original and all the edits. She's so cute.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjMOViOot6uo6DH4n-0gcZPen5mf-0_SYMoh6jbJZ29_NraorMJO8GKktybQOloKYHeIiKbEpetIXOa0KYF907cNAh3fe-_kcji_wF68MtBgJ2fIk1qGhj5T1928KSYM7uDXmKnvZzvlia/s1600/1032_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjMOViOot6uo6DH4n-0gcZPen5mf-0_SYMoh6jbJZ29_NraorMJO8GKktybQOloKYHeIiKbEpetIXOa0KYF907cNAh3fe-_kcji_wF68MtBgJ2fIk1qGhj5T1928KSYM7uDXmKnvZzvlia/s320/1032_edited-1.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yellow flower and the rest is B&W. I love this effect</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</tbody></table>Ok so there's some pics and edits I've done. :) I'm thinking I may just start a new blog for all my photography stuff. Leo's supposed to help me with a website so we shall see.<br />
<br />
Oh yeah and I have to weddings to photograph. One on Saturday cause a friend's photographer had to cancel after breaking her leg, and another friend from WoW on September 3rd. Excited but nervous all at once. Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-67907289011202366532011-08-15T13:57:00.000-07:002011-08-15T13:57:54.532-07:00Apparently it takes me a month....So apparently I'm going to post once a month or something. What can I say since my last post. My life is freaking boring and my computer crapped out so I'm on the shitty 15 inch computer when I'm used to the 17inch one. Really annoying cause the computer I'm on now uses Ubuntu so anything windows based I can't use. :(<br />
<br />
I would add pictures here of some photography stuff lately that I've done but slight problem with the fact that I haven't uploaded them and the other ones are on the hard drive from the 17 inch one. I figure there's no sense in transferring them onto this computer so I'm stuck waiting on the other one to come back which better be this week or I'm going crazy.<br />
<br />
<br />
Ok even more crazy than I am now.<br />
<br />
So I now have a 7 year old who is going to be in grade two in September. The bus will actually be picking him up slightly earlier than last year, the good news, he'll still get picked up at the same spot so I don't have to worry about that. Just means I have to get up earlier.<br />
<br />
Got finished worrying about one grandparent and laid him to rest, now I get to wait for the dreaded phone call on my grandmother on my dad's side. <br />
<br />
Not to long ago we had major issues here, crap was literally hitting the fan and one of my uncles came and got her and moved her back down to Trenton where she lived before moving in with dad. Yesterday David, my brother, texted my mom while we were at my Aunt's for my cousins first birthday and I get the news that they found a tumor that is to far gone. So needless to say we're just waiting on the phone call that she's gone. <br />
<br />
Leo had said when she moved, because we were trying to convince her that I'd be alright with her going to Trenton, that we probably wouldn't even get the chance to visit her and it looks like it's coming to that. Good thing I just bought a black skirt. Seems I'm going to need it. Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-5401601485925940002011-07-12T20:39:00.000-07:002011-07-12T20:39:09.073-07:00Feeling.........annoyed....frustrated........Ok so haven't really written in here lately. Mostly cause I haven't really had much to write about. So a few things to talk about now.<br />
<br />
So it's been almost a year, Saturday to be exact, will be a year since I screwed my shoulder over. And boy did I screw it over. I was at the waterpark and in the wavepool with Alex and decided to go for a little swim. I couldn't even move my arm in a stroke which is an odd feeling. I normally could before I fucked up the shoulder. So that just means I have to work at getting it back if I ever want to swim properly again. Sucks but what can I do? I fucked it up.<br />
<br />
Saturday we're doing a barbeque for Alex's birthday. Since the little monkey is going to be 7 on Monday. I can't believe I'm going to have a 2nd grader come September. I keep looking at the baby pics I have of him and wish I could go back and have my little monkey again.<br />
<br />
Let's see what else. Well finally managed to talk to a friend I used to RP with who has been MIA since I screwed my shoulder up. :) Happy about that but pissed off and annoyed at the sametime. Pissed off because she keeps having to go and says she'll be back right away but doesn't show up. It's annoying the fuck out of me. I can understand people get busy but seriously, when I text could you not tell me that something came up and you won't be able to get back?<br />
<br />
Or there's the people who say they're going to be on a certain night and then don't show up yet still want a storyline in an rp with me and then get pissed off at me when the SL changes. Well sorry but please don't get pissed at me when you don't come on to work on our SL and suddenly something happens with my character and someone else. Shit happens and it can't be helped if you aren't on. Why should I suffer without being able to play my character because you can't get off your ass and get on?<br />
<br />
Yeah just a little pissed. Though on a good note my other friend whom I haven't talked to in forever, has resurfaced and wanted to RP with me cause of Harry Potter coming out. :) YAY!!! So have that private Storyline going on. <br />
<br />
Let's see. I managed to have four riding lessons in June. Unfortunetly couldn't continue cause we didn't have money. I will definitely go back to where I took these lessons at. They were so understanding with my fears. Even letting me use the mounting block to dismount from Silver. I love that horse. He was soooooo understanding and such a confidence booster which I need. <br />
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Gonna add some pics of me riding Silver, of course it shows how fat I really am which sucks but I'm working on it.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzo8Ii-89GZGsq65EL7D8iNY8yw_t0oq0fSCbZVEUq0Lhdhag_ECJEStle7QvWY0D7we0KkVdkQ_nUElB5hUwsrzEO90TO1kwsnLL-dq9BTOZnZUG7PVtGviHWB7oXP9W1r8R5x1EggMK5/s1600/020.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzo8Ii-89GZGsq65EL7D8iNY8yw_t0oq0fSCbZVEUq0Lhdhag_ECJEStle7QvWY0D7we0KkVdkQ_nUElB5hUwsrzEO90TO1kwsnLL-dq9BTOZnZUG7PVtGviHWB7oXP9W1r8R5x1EggMK5/s320/020.JPG" width="213" /></a></div><br />
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This is it for now. More later. Hopefully people will be around tomorrow after I get home from the water park with Alex. Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-30357510917010876662011-04-10T16:26:00.000-07:002011-04-10T16:26:01.907-07:00TortureSo I really do like torturing myself. Today went to one of the old barns I worked at, they were having a team sorting event, a couple people I know from Waterloo County Trailriders were there so I went to take pictures. Damn battery wasn't completely charged luckily there was enough for me to get pics which are posted on my facebook. <br />
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I sat watching the team sorting and couldn't help feel horrible cause I can't ride. I can't ride because I can't find a job. I feel like the only thing I'm good at is shoveling shit out of stalls after the horses have been in there. And I can't even do that anymore cause of the damn shoulder. I'm getting frustrated as hell that I can't find anything. It's annoying how some people don't have to try and they managed to either get a job or whatever. I gave my resume to a friend to take to work with him but I have no idea if he has or not.<br />
<br />
With the nice weather starting now, I'm going to have to find something that's comfy to sit in in order to be outside with Alex. Leo doesn't seem to care if something happens to him or not. As I write this Alex is out front riding his bike and where is Leo? In the kitchen. He called his name, didn't hear him and went to check on him, here he's two houses down. <br />
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I don't know what to do with everything. I'm just going crazy. I really want to ride, especially with the nicer weather coming. Maybe I just need to get out and get some pictures or something. Mind you the next couple of days are supposed to be rainy. <br />
<br />
FML!Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-66605129197763719162011-04-09T15:11:00.000-07:002011-04-09T15:11:01.649-07:00A Glutton for PunishmentSo I decided that not only was doing one wedding sampler bad enough, mind you I'm almost finished with the one for the BF and his fiance, I decided that my nephew should get one for his wedding too. So now I'm doing another wedding sampler. Not the one I wanted that I was looking for, but it would have taken like 7-14 days to get here to order it online and I just don't have that time. I'm actually taking a bit of a break to type this up.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAIQF0LxYKtPHJWx1RXjKOAPonS-_aQf3yDu723Qf15I0Tz-fp5Zot7SoEaSxN1bEGS5HGFyop4FXXKqdlJH6DNiIzjMCQz7zaDeGdUSj0FGIOU7ZhaYYJ5aw6xtzx9N_La9EKF9tW7RKy/s1600/RC12289_L.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAIQF0LxYKtPHJWx1RXjKOAPonS-_aQf3yDu723Qf15I0Tz-fp5Zot7SoEaSxN1bEGS5HGFyop4FXXKqdlJH6DNiIzjMCQz7zaDeGdUSj0FGIOU7ZhaYYJ5aw6xtzx9N_La9EKF9tW7RKy/s1600/RC12289_L.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is for my nephew and his fiance for their wedding in June</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>So been sitting working on that one now while the other one sits and waits til this is done. Like I said not the one I wanted but it'll do.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdpiDjm9-jAYlmtfS4FFWSkWAHGhVGaHt8NOP5dXuLkmuS_xgv8SVSyM1eiZK8UXRD9Ku8FS4mehbiMWaEjLSRFtabg1nHY5ZkB71HKvSioEM8hJovFdn3wQU4QdCn29G-ftApLfM_V0hv/s1600/35192.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdpiDjm9-jAYlmtfS4FFWSkWAHGhVGaHt8NOP5dXuLkmuS_xgv8SVSyM1eiZK8UXRD9Ku8FS4mehbiMWaEjLSRFtabg1nHY5ZkB71HKvSioEM8hJovFdn3wQU4QdCn29G-ftApLfM_V0hv/s320/35192.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the one I wanted but the store doesn't have it</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>So went to another craft store around here, one that I couldn't go to cause didn't have a lot of gas and it's a fair distance from the house, so my friend picked me up yesterday and we went, and what do I find there but this kit. I was pissed that I found it. If I'd have had the money I'd have gotten it but I didn't have the money so I'm stuck with out.<br />
<br />
So as I was looking for something in the house I found yet another cross stitch kit that I had forgotten I had bought. Amazing what you find sometimes. :) <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7s8IN2TYz8oMohsmFqtzuAMZi9Zxfzh1Zi_9XV8TG4JzBZuH08FYROJVza6huNARM8wiFy7yndat6E_FGeBWin2akkowBMLqkgZV7U-gNv17jlKMQzQ7KWnAqBUyw4uIO1fZqeaDS0JBi/s1600/Horse+friends+3230.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7s8IN2TYz8oMohsmFqtzuAMZi9Zxfzh1Zi_9XV8TG4JzBZuH08FYROJVza6huNARM8wiFy7yndat6E_FGeBWin2akkowBMLqkgZV7U-gNv17jlKMQzQ7KWnAqBUyw4uIO1fZqeaDS0JBi/s1600/Horse+friends+3230.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the one I found just recently so now will do this for myself.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Anyway just a quick post better get back tot the cross stitching. That's all I've been doing recently.Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-2276007849266767372011-03-28T17:00:00.000-07:002011-03-28T17:00:19.935-07:00Ian SommerhalderSo honestly I have no idea what made me do it but I went and downloaded season 4 of Law and Order SVU because there is one episode that he guest starred in. I found that out from a site that had info on Vampire Diaries all because I was working on getting things ready for a PSL community.<br />
<br />
I had to do it. I think I'm beginning to have a strange obsesssion with him or something. He was younger when he did SVU of course considering it's like in it's 12th season or something like that but hey he's still the little hottie in it. <br />
<br />
Ok this is quick may come up with something more substantial later but right now I got nothing. :)Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-16239936032794670352011-03-25T19:26:00.000-07:002011-03-25T19:26:43.663-07:00Coming to some conclussionsSo this week I have come to some conclusions this week. Mainly a big one that I am apparently expendable. A friend who I've been Rping with for a little more than a year is a mother. Ok great. I don't begrudge anyone being a parent. Her kids are in their 20's and one is currently in school. Great. She told me this week that because it was his spring break she would spend more time on and we could Rp more. Great. I thought. Considering we don't do it much the rest of the year because she feels the need to write his fucking papers and everything else. Don't get me wrong I'm all for helping your kids out in school but writing all their work for them, really how's he gonna fucking learn. It's not like she's gonna be out there holding his hand while he is working. If he doesn't know the stuff now, he's never gonna be able to handle it in the real world? <br />
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Told me this week she'd be on. She's been on all of two days to Roleplay with. Just pisses me off at the fact that I was told that Rping would take place this week and it hasn't.<br />
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Really pissses me off that everyone that I Rp with fucks me over. I have a couple who are on but never RP with. Or if they do start Rping with me they fuck off and forget about me but they can RP with everyone else.<br />
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I'm just trying to figure out why the hell I bother anymore.Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-14472770104997603992011-03-17T00:38:00.000-07:002011-03-17T00:38:43.847-07:00A brief abscenceSo it's been awhile since I've talked much about music. Not that I haven't thought about my music of course. :) But I had taken a break from it since I had wanted the new computer and it worked out that the payments for the computer would be cheaper than my music lessons that usually worked out to just under $100/month and of course that's in Canadian. So I sort of put the music lessons on hold, still am not back to them yet but that's just cause we don't have the money as yet.<br />
<br />
I was doing piano and Violin before I quit. Well didn't really quit just kind of took a break. I'd been in lessons for like 4 years or something like that without a break so it was due. Then I broke the shoulder so things were on hold for sure. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Still haven't actually picked up the violin again and tried it. Kind of scared to really. I probably should and try to play it again just to see how the shoulder will hold up. The piano is a different story. I'd found a free upright piano, which was cool, but I never got it tuned so I hated to practice on it which meant not really progressing at any significant amount. Well we got our income tax back and found a digital piano, that never needs tuning, that was a decent price and so Leo bought it! YAY!!! <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlY3GlKQzobwzeoUKullKd8uN94FexcbY5p6VC4XsjZQbAYIq1vXAa95JV7wH3O4pJDWIpfdpPRbXLyXc-jZyA0E5E0-qVz6yHCkx0iIZL__TZyiyWX8KRm62hjn4VSAy9U_ujnCVZabs6/s1600/666730c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlY3GlKQzobwzeoUKullKd8uN94FexcbY5p6VC4XsjZQbAYIq1vXAa95JV7wH3O4pJDWIpfdpPRbXLyXc-jZyA0E5E0-qVz6yHCkx0iIZL__TZyiyWX8KRm62hjn4VSAy9U_ujnCVZabs6/s1600/666730c.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Introducing the newest baby of the family.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>So now I've been playing the piano each night for about 10 minutes or so and Alex comes into the dining room and bangs on the incredibly out of tune upright while I have my headset on and I'm playing my baby. Which I just want to add that I put together mostly on my own. :) WOOT YAY ME!!!!Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-10912021485454631882011-03-08T22:56:00.000-08:002011-03-08T22:56:50.248-08:00OverweightSo I was sitting here tonight looking at pictures I have uploaded on Facebook. I came across pictures of me at one of my riding lessons and realized just how overweight I am. I have known I'm overweight for a bit but to see just how big I am as I'm riding a horse, I really feel bad for the horses I've ridden. It's hard to imagine just how much they've dealt with while lugging my fat ass around.<br />
<br />
So seeing this, and realizing that I could probably ride a little better without the stomach, I am going to make a concious effort to loose the weight and start eating healthy. As I sit here writing this, I have a box of Nature Valley granola bars sitting beside me that I have really enjoyed the few that I have had. I think I'm goig to figure out a way to get a gym membership as well and start going there. Even if it's just to use a stationary bike or something. Have to find something that is easy on the knees. <br />
<br />
There is also Fit Booty Camp that I may look into as well. 8 weeks of someone kicking my ass may do me well. :) Anyway I just thought I'd put this out. <br />
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From this day forward I'm going to make sure I work to loose the weight and that way I'll be in better shape when I go back to riding, if I ever get back to riding.Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-10697004894155676802011-03-08T19:07:00.000-08:002011-03-08T19:07:33.763-08:00I'm back.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>So after a brief and unexpected, yet totally expected, abscence I am back. Yes I can't spell. LOL Anyway. It's now been a month since having to say good-bye to my loving grandfather, who at the end of his life didn't reconize pretty much anyone. I've now driven past the cemetary where his ashes are 4 times and it's incredibly hard. Yesterday I drove past and found myself speeding up to get passed in the one direction, coming back in the other direction I sped up and made sure I wasn't looking. I had my friend, her two kids and her boyfriend in the car with me. He told me when we were passed and I could look around me again. <br />
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<br />
So haven't had the chance to get out and do any photography as it's still cold and snowy. I'm so ready for it to be over. Now though I've got two weddings to think about, my nephew on Leo's side of the family and my best friend is FINALLY getting married. They've booked the church and hall and stuff. Leo is a groomsmen and I'm doing some photography stuff but they are hiring a photographer to do the actual photos. <br />
<br />
So because it's been cold I've picked up the cross-stitch again. I know I should pick up the writing again, though I did start something the other day when I was at the playground, indoor thank god, with Alex. Anyway here are the four x-stitches I'm going to be working on. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtrNC4hQyEeAxe3PRWRrVcs3pg6YupoJiYrA9PB3QF7wFfrhtRjKr9q1q7QmQgjs1mY4xjnbFaa46-z0rxOLm-CjucmUtJJvhsa9Lpf2BJB9qUAOzAHmbFnAr7SNPDJXmH4U_MOPNaWvfd/s1600/691485.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtrNC4hQyEeAxe3PRWRrVcs3pg6YupoJiYrA9PB3QF7wFfrhtRjKr9q1q7QmQgjs1mY4xjnbFaa46-z0rxOLm-CjucmUtJJvhsa9Lpf2BJB9qUAOzAHmbFnAr7SNPDJXmH4U_MOPNaWvfd/s1600/691485.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is for my best friend and his soon to be wife. It's going to have their names and the wedding date. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4D6VYTf3shS7uNawdp-tu2VhfpvOmlcgIQSz2NXCp9j2CEzi0bEDriPsjDvaZ3_sELy7QiFr14Is3dbAcs6XBQA9cF8nL-p5wJSWNUIXV9FlQRjykJ3Usc6MVze2mgCUnGwkjxStdspwx/s1600/35134+angel+kisses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4D6VYTf3shS7uNawdp-tu2VhfpvOmlcgIQSz2NXCp9j2CEzi0bEDriPsjDvaZ3_sELy7QiFr14Is3dbAcs6XBQA9cF8nL-p5wJSWNUIXV9FlQRjykJ3Usc6MVze2mgCUnGwkjxStdspwx/s320/35134+angel+kisses.jpg" width="317" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is for my Mother In law. Been trying to do it for ages. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFiN1180yb7CTRGQG9Xkt6qEe07_yl2yI-Vsl2KQSngPXN7E6g6WzY9gvlpBb3sRFzxVcsKxTODRASyCYlZocpmYPy0oBFT4VQgSpsD0bp7tVRM5kkOVZn3sy4NW312W8Hozymt8TXBfiI/s1600/dolphin.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFiN1180yb7CTRGQG9Xkt6qEe07_yl2yI-Vsl2KQSngPXN7E6g6WzY9gvlpBb3sRFzxVcsKxTODRASyCYlZocpmYPy0oBFT4VQgSpsD0bp7tVRM5kkOVZn3sy4NW312W8Hozymt8TXBfiI/s320/dolphin.gif" width="224" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another I've been trying to do for ages, for my mom. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4214M_IIUCvcClSSnU4OmMQo0dqxjCY-mcMBmXCvwmaeB_obE3NHJB4U4vvPiGSnVuafj__qY2YpdDIyfJhRLotlfa9tlBhFPm6rzyYBS5zy28I5Lk7i_yONV_dIsBFjhb_WK86IiWJUn/s1600/gc4811714541453937001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4214M_IIUCvcClSSnU4OmMQo0dqxjCY-mcMBmXCvwmaeB_obE3NHJB4U4vvPiGSnVuafj__qY2YpdDIyfJhRLotlfa9tlBhFPm6rzyYBS5zy28I5Lk7i_yONV_dIsBFjhb_WK86IiWJUn/s320/gc4811714541453937001.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And this will be mine. If I can get the other three done. :)</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</tbody></table>So next week is the kiddo's march break. And I was supposed to have a week without him but my mother in law is sick with Shingles, so I have the monkey home with me. Now to figure out what to do with kiddo that will keep the remaining sanity left in me there where it should be.<br />
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Anyway I'm going to leave this and plug my computer back in as the cord just fell out as the kiddo turned. :) Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-15425244433573943132011-02-04T21:03:00.000-08:002011-02-04T21:03:30.138-08:00Ed StecklyThe suffering has ended. You're not in pain anymore. You're fishing with your brother and brother in law and eating all the cheezies you want. When it's raining I know it's you and the fish fighting over where the fish gets to go, knowing full well that eventually it will end up in your stomach. Maybe sauteed in a little butter. <br />
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As I sit here writing this to you, knowing that in just three days we'll be seeing you sleeping peacefully for the first time in a long long time, I think back to all the memories you have given me. From the visits to you in the house out on the highway, when you would give me extra treats that mom and dad said no to, Or the nights we had to stay over and we sat quietly watching the news to the fishing trips out on the lake in the boat. <br />
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As a young girl of 12 when mom and dad split, you stepped in and tried to keep things alright and semi normal for David and I. Taking us out on the boat in the summer at the lake. Letting us visit with you as much as we could. Taking a special interest in us, two of your grandchildren who didn't have their father at that moment.<br />
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You've always been such a strong man. The strongest man I've ever known. Stronger than even my own father. You were the matriarch of the family, holding us all together. <br />
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I didn't want to let you go. I know I wasn't to the Nursing <span style="font-size: small;">home</span> to see you very much but I was like mom, an emotional wreck, and it was hard to see you <span style="font-size: small;">deteriorating the way you were with every passing moment. I wanted to remember the strong man that once you were, that would load and unload the boat with your two grandchildren onboard. You did that all on your own. The one who helped David break into a trailer when neighbours locked their keys in their trailer. </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">When the call came that everyone was called back to the nursing home I could only think of getting to your side. I couldn't touch you at first. But I did hug and kiss you before I left. When I found out I asked the baby I lost to come and help you find your way. I know now that you will watch over him and teach him the things I couldn't, the things you taught me, I think about the fishing trips that you and your brother and brother in law will take with my baby Lucas. I know he's in wonderful hands and that none of you are suffering anymore. </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I will see you when this life for me is over. I love you Grandpa and will miss you. I'm glad to have had you for pictures for my wedding, and that you got to see my son. I know you're watching over us all now and will be shaking your head at some of the things you do. I know you weren't strict so much as you were trying to protect us all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Love you forever and always. </span>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-31978258235496546802011-02-04T18:42:00.000-08:002011-02-04T18:42:40.517-08:00Staying strong and mourning at one timeNo one ever said life was easy. Sometimes you don't get an easy start from the beginning and each day is a struggle just to survive. Other times you start out strong, both physically and emotionally and by the time your number has come up you're weaker in mind, body and soul. <br />
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I realized all of this this week. Tuesday afternoon I got a text from my brother asking me if I was with my mom, whom I assumed was at work. Wrong! He then proceeds to tell me that he got a call from my aunt saying that everyone was called to go to the nursing home, apparently grandpa wasn't doing well. A little bit later my aunt called and told me what was happening and said I could go up. I had 45 minutes at this point before the child got off the bus. I decided I'd go to dad's to tell Alex what was happening, then maybe go up to the nursing home for a little bit. Glad I did. <br />
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Wednesday was the snow storm (not that it was much of one) of 2011, so Alex had a snow day. I didn't make it to see Grandpa again. All day Wednesday I was saying that after Leo got home I'd go up and see him. Something held me back, something told me he'd be alright and I'd go up on Thursday with mom if she went up. By then it would be to late. <br />
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Thursday night I went to bed around midnight only to be woken 4 hours later by the phone ringing. Unfortunetly Leo got hit cause he didn't hear the phone and it was on his side. As soon as he said it was mom's I knew it was over. Grandpa had left this world and all of us behind.<br />
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I'm happy he's done suffering, and out of pain. I'm not one to go to church, yes I believe there is another being out there but what or who it is I can't say. Tuesday I looked out the window and told Lucas, my second son who unfortunetly was lost before he was born, that he could come and take papa. <br />
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Can I just say that Alzheimer's is a BITCH! My recomendation to everyone, no matter how many people read this blog, is take pictures of your loved ones as much as you can. I don't have many pictures of my grandfather and I regret that. I'm making sure now that when I go to see my dad I'll be taking the camera.<br />
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<a href="http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=Edward-Steckly&lc=3767&pid=148329142&mid=4544675&locale=en-CA">Grandpa Steckly. Will miss you everyday.</a>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-64871717968882177712011-02-01T12:21:00.000-08:002011-02-01T12:23:21.205-08:00Life.....or something like it.We all start out as a helpless child, unable to eat without someone feeding us, most cases holding a bottle for us, or if you're a breast fed baby holding a boob. We grow we learn to do things on our own, using the potty, dressing ourselves and fending for ourselves. Later still we get older, become a senior and sometimes, we end up reverting back to that first helpless child stage.<br />
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Such is the case with my grandfather. He started out a helpless child, and that's how he's leaving us. Dealing with Alzheimer's. I received a text from my brother this afternoon, thinking it was my alarm telling me it was time to get another child off the school bus. He texted me to see if I was with mom. Right away alarm bells started ringing in my head. Somethings wrong. Why would he need to know if I was with my mother at 2:30 in the afternoon? He then told me that my worst fears were correct. He told me that my aunt called him to tell him that the nursing home called to call the family there to be with my grandpa. I hadn't heard the news yet and I'm left here in my house on my own. A million thoughts were racing through my head. Had no one thought to call me and fill me in? I tried my mom's cell phone and couldn't get through. It would pick up after one ring and take me straight to voice mail.<br />
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My aunt called me then after I had told my brother to tell my aunt to tell my mom to call me to fill me in. Maybe it was better when I didn't know. Apparently grandpa has pneumonia and can't be given anything for it. They're just trying to keep him comfortable for now. That's all they can do. It's not like they can do much else. She then told me mom was there with everyone else and had support. I worry about my mom knowing how she can be. We've talked about this a billion times and it hasn't made this any easier.<br />
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We know it'll be best for him, he won't be suffering or anything and that's what we want. I keep telling myself that the three babies I never got to meet will now have another person to look after them until I can get there and be a mom to them.<br />
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I'm trying to get the crying under control before I get Alex off the bus. I need to be support for him. It'll be coming down to the wire whether or not I get it under control.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj70U7dkEDwuvBVYhB6DYGxhFP6kCxSGbEr3KQDJ9yWRt4gu8-LF8jW1JVGkH9ANB7N1LQrH2rLuUrbPh5XYIYMO1ghvy8dVLkDlzVPaGTOVwcJCMOycVHCmDVPoLccdN_ER3GCOn0dOLyZ/s1600/grandpa+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj70U7dkEDwuvBVYhB6DYGxhFP6kCxSGbEr3KQDJ9yWRt4gu8-LF8jW1JVGkH9ANB7N1LQrH2rLuUrbPh5XYIYMO1ghvy8dVLkDlzVPaGTOVwcJCMOycVHCmDVPoLccdN_ER3GCOn0dOLyZ/s320/grandpa+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was him 2 years ago at my uncles out in Alberta. It was before he got really bad and had to go to the nursing home. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisTurHJJIUFa5YP9-YklHGshL44iAGFgH7VmxECXN_G9a3DXEyMyiu2V7hlpRvn-Gp_n7203j-PK_CdpZa1426Ojk-N02xvR4okI2I5aQTWrDmkGMxgK07Z73IuHFrEbnnNZ9Xa9l961pc/s1600/Grandpa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisTurHJJIUFa5YP9-YklHGshL44iAGFgH7VmxECXN_G9a3DXEyMyiu2V7hlpRvn-Gp_n7203j-PK_CdpZa1426Ojk-N02xvR4okI2I5aQTWrDmkGMxgK07Z73IuHFrEbnnNZ9Xa9l961pc/s320/Grandpa.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Grandma and Grandpa this past Christmas. I didn't see him this Christmas. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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Now my next thing is how do I explain everything to my 6 year old so he'll be alright.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibtYPTWRvxvK-uaTDJ7k0I_HTrwF2PjPqbybr8Lp_MQv0Dm5K68SA6Wjmoo_saZW7yC-1VgHkydGvXpQMBLffAtuQIPU3v6gKbHwTpjm3rAkjJC1KtmYSUdVQLFR8p51-DPPpmQ8g9-IFt/s1600/oldie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibtYPTWRvxvK-uaTDJ7k0I_HTrwF2PjPqbybr8Lp_MQv0Dm5K68SA6Wjmoo_saZW7yC-1VgHkydGvXpQMBLffAtuQIPU3v6gKbHwTpjm3rAkjJC1KtmYSUdVQLFR8p51-DPPpmQ8g9-IFt/s320/oldie.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was one Christmas at their house on the highway. We were really young then. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-89837234962227272492011-01-30T00:09:00.000-08:002011-01-30T00:09:15.153-08:00Movies and the truth about some people.Wow. Ok I didn't do anything in here cause I did my guest spot over on Jules' blog. Then Saturday I slept. Stayed up way to late the night before. <br />
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So anyway gonna talk about Black Swan. Ok first off, that movie is just messed up! Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis were great in it, but seriously the story was just confusing as hell. I'm gonna put up the summary from the movie. I will add there may be spoilers.<br />
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A ballet dancer wins the lead in "Swan Lake" and is perfect for the role of the delicate White Swan - Princess Odette - but slowly loses her mind as she becomes more and more like Odile the Black Swan, daughter of an evil magician. <br />
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Natalie plays Nina Sayers, a Ballet Dancer who wins the lead in the company's performance of Swan Lake. The movie goes on and Natalie's Character, Nina slowly goes crazy. Ok I don't know if that's exactly true but wierd things happen to her. She starts with a rash or something, we later find that her mother says she's been scratching at her back again, then she starts to see herself. And not like in the mirror or anything, but like seeing herself doing things she isn't actually doing. At one point she goes out with Mila's character Lily, and comes home, fights with her mother and then Lily and Nina go into her room and apparently have a Lesbian experience but when Nina confronts Lily the next day at the studio Lily says it didn't happen. <br />
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Lily also becomes Nina's understudy for the role if Nina can't perform. During the performance Nina walks into her dressing room to find Lily getting into the costume and make up of the black swan. Nina pushes Lily against the mirror and then stabs her with a piece of broken glass, apparently killing her. We later find out that Nina didn't do that while she's getting ready to go back out as the white swan that in fact Nina had stabbed herself with the glass when Lily comes to the door of Nina's room.<br />
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That's all I'm going to say on that as I'm still trying to understand it and I can't. <br />
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Anyway now to some ranting, or bitching whichever you want to call it. I know I said I'd try to keep the bitching and moaning out of here but sometimes it just slips in. <br />
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I'm trying to figure out why I rolepay. It never seems like anyone wants to roleplay with me. Or when they do, we get the characters figured out for a storyline and then they fuck it over. It's happened way to many fucking times for my liking. I find out tonight that a storyline I thought was going to happen with a friend of mine, she decided to have her character hook up with someone else therefore fucking over my storyline. The one where she made her character specifically for me. Yeah can we say pissed. Just a little. I'm so fucking sick of that shit. Hence me rethinking the whole idea of Roleplaying in the first place. It's just driving me crazy. Maybe I should just stick to World of Warcraft. At least there I don't have to worry about getting fucked over.Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112664850803036640.post-36274916536236585842011-01-27T18:35:00.000-08:002011-01-27T18:35:50.371-08:00My week keeps getting better and better, oh and a Crying Damon Salvatore.So my week went from shit to really shitty! Monday I get the text message about Calvin, so spent two days sort of not really in the whole wanting to do much of anything, then I get a phone call from Petsmart, which I applied to. But it wasn't for a job like I'd been hoping. It was to make an appointment for Hershey to have his grooming. Then as I'm sitting watching the new Vampire Diaries (where Damon Salvatore is crying AGAIN. OMG so HAWT when he cries) I get told that Leo's uncle had a major heart attack and died while down in Mexico with his wife. We only saw them December 27th and neither one of them looked like they weren't healthy.<br />
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So yes my week hasn't been the greatest. <br />
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Though there have been some happier moments this week. Last night Leo said yes to me taking the Pet Grooming Certificate so I started that and took two exams already. The first one I got 93 on it and the second I got 100. :) WOOT!<br />
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Ok jumping back to Vampire Diaries. I had completely forgot that tonight was the start of the new Episodes. I like to say I have a healthy obsession with Damon Salvatore, or maybe it's a healthy obsession with Ian Somerhalder? Either way I love him. Maybe it's the blue eyes or something. I don't know. But tonight's episode Damon had to kill Rose. Rose, who kidnapped Elena and was going to give her to the one of the Original's. But I'm not going there. Anyway Rose had been bitten by a werewolf and we all know that werewolf bites are fatal to vampires. So yes she was basically going crazy. Tried to kill Elena and the whole shebang.<br />
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Anyway Ian, oops I mean, Damon tried to talk to Jules who is a werewolf, the wolf in fact that bit Rose in the first place, to find out if there was a cure but alas there wasn't, or if there is Juels wasn't talking and told him the only cure was to put a stake into her heart. So we move on.<br />
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Didn't see much of Stefan this epi but really I wasn't worried. Damon looked so sad throughout the episode. Just before he killed Rose, with the stake, he controlled her dreams and took her back to the place she grew up. Let her have that happy time before he would totally betray her and kill her. You see him actually shed tears as he does it and she basically dies in her arms. I wanted wrap my arms around him.<br />
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So there's other stuff that happens, like he talks to Sheriff Forbes and shows her the dead vampire, since there were people who were killed, and then returns home to see Elena there. They have a conversation and you can see the gears in Damons head shifting already. He is sooooooo crazy about Elena. Needless to say he's completely distraught.<br />
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They left tonight's episode with Damon laying in the middle of the road, of course drunk, a woman stops her car to see if he's alright. Yes there's an idea, a dark road in the middle of no where, let's stop the car and get out cause we're all alone. Eventually D gets up and compels her not to move, so she's frozen. He goes into a spiel and all that then says he isn't going to kill her, lets her go and then before you know it he's actually killing her and drinking her blood. Major tears cause you knows he's hurting when he says that he can't be what she wants him to be. And in that line you know damn well he's talking about Elena as the she part.<br />
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And so that ends my night, well sort of. Still gonna rp a bit, maybe do some more studying not sure. Either way here's a last sad picture of Damon Salvatore so we can ALL have good dreams about a tall brooding vampire, that isn't Edward Cullen. (not that I don't like Edward Cullen)<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8uSkEb9MPD0ru8bBLyYUBd2QdL8f6g9t91ubJj6xcFzzCKhhkrwbngQRCzIyl6Hm-nYThkhBTPDTyAt2qw_R9xXsr3U8OM6kW51m5MDKj22Zw7PtApP6gz_G-sgDQj2Vi2eBLuR1TK-Nd/s1600/VD212a_1794b-450x310.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8uSkEb9MPD0ru8bBLyYUBd2QdL8f6g9t91ubJj6xcFzzCKhhkrwbngQRCzIyl6Hm-nYThkhBTPDTyAt2qw_R9xXsr3U8OM6kW51m5MDKj22Zw7PtApP6gz_G-sgDQj2Vi2eBLuR1TK-Nd/s320/VD212a_1794b-450x310.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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.Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11886736410112688123noreply@blogger.com3