Torture

So I really do like torturing myself.  Today went to one of the old barns I worked at, they were having a team sorting event, a couple people I know from Waterloo County Trailriders were there so I went to take pictures.  Damn battery wasn't completely charged luckily there was enough for me to get pics which are posted on my facebook. 

I sat watching the team sorting and couldn't help feel horrible cause I can't ride.  I can't ride because I can't find a job.  I feel like the only thing I'm good at is shoveling shit out of stalls after the horses have been in there.  And I can't even do that anymore cause of the damn shoulder. I'm getting frustrated as hell that I can't find anything.  It's annoying how some people don't have to try and they managed to either get a job or whatever.  I gave my resume to a friend to take to work with him but I have no idea if he has or not.

With the nice weather starting now, I'm going to have to find something that's comfy to sit in in order to be outside with Alex.  Leo doesn't seem to care if something happens to him or not.  As I write this Alex is out front riding his bike and where is Leo? In the kitchen.  He called his name, didn't hear him and went to check on him, here he's two houses down. 

I don't know what to do with everything.  I'm just going crazy. I really want to ride, especially with the nicer weather coming. Maybe I just need to get out and get some pictures or something.  Mind you the next couple of days are supposed to be rainy. 

FML!