Friday, February 4, 2011

Staying strong and mourning at one time

No one ever said life was easy. Sometimes you don't get an easy start from the beginning and each day is a struggle just to survive.  Other times you start out strong, both physically and emotionally and by the time your number has come up you're weaker in mind, body and soul. 

I realized all of this this week.  Tuesday afternoon I got a text from my brother asking me if I was with my mom, whom I assumed was at work.  Wrong! He then proceeds to tell me that he got a call from my aunt saying that everyone was called to go to the nursing home, apparently grandpa wasn't doing well. A little bit later my aunt called and told me what was happening and said I could go up.  I had 45 minutes at this point before the child got off the bus.  I decided I'd go to dad's to tell Alex what was happening, then maybe go up to the nursing home for a little bit.  Glad I did. 

Wednesday was the snow storm (not that it was much of one) of 2011, so Alex had a snow day. I didn't make it to see Grandpa again.  All day Wednesday I was saying that after Leo got home I'd go up and see him.  Something held me back, something told me he'd be alright and I'd go up on Thursday with mom if she went up. By then it would be to late. 

Thursday night I went to bed around midnight only to be woken 4 hours later by the phone ringing.  Unfortunetly Leo got hit cause he didn't hear the phone and it was on his side.  As soon as he said it was mom's I knew it was over.  Grandpa had left this world and all of us behind.

I'm happy he's done suffering, and out of pain.  I'm not one to go to church, yes I believe there is another being out there but what or who it is I can't say.  Tuesday I looked out the window and told Lucas, my second son who unfortunetly was lost before he was born, that he could come and take papa. 

Can I just say that Alzheimer's is a BITCH!  My recomendation to everyone, no matter how many people read this blog, is take pictures of your loved ones as much as you can.  I don't have many pictures of my grandfather and I regret that.  I'm making sure now that when I go to see my dad I'll be taking the camera.

Grandpa Steckly. Will miss you everyday.

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