I’m back bitches

 Did you miss me?  I know it’s been a hot minute but life sometimes gets in the way.  This could be a long one so you may want to grab a drink and a snack and hold on for one hell of a ride. 

Where to begin? Truthfully trying to remember where I left off would be the better question.  I know it’s been years sue me, you won’t get much.

Ok went back and looked to see where I’d left off.  Well that was about 12 years ago in 2013.  We are now obviously in 2025.  So updates in the wonderful world of me.  

2014 unfortunately I sadly said good bye to one of the best friend’s I had, my Jack O Lantern.  Sadly he contracted Equine Lymphagitis like my friend’s horse before him.  So I let him heal from it the first time and everything was going good until I had a barn owner who decided to disregard the directions from my vet saying not to put him out when it was muddy and that Christmas it was muddy for December in Cananda. No  snow, wet, rainy and chilly.  So tons of mud.  So was getting him healed up from that and I get a text message from her on December 23 telling me that his leg was swollen again.  Now by this point the vet and I had already talked and we decided that people usually are able to fix it the first time, and he was healing, but it would be a recurring thing and they then make a choice when they contract it a second time. So unfortunately I made the hard choice of saying good bye to my best friend.  I couldn't justify taking money from the family to pay for him and his quality of life was no longer what it had once been.  So on December 23 2014 I kissed his nose for the last time. 

February 2015 I started free leasing another horse, Leo decided after two weeks of me suffering through my bout of depression I was never allowed to be without a horse again.  So Rayne came into my life in 2015.  We were a team and quite a good one.  In our first full season out we took 3rd overall in one division and 4th overall in another.  She was fantastic even if at times she was crazy, but sadly I ended up having a nasty fall that resulted in me being laid up on a heating pad for two weeks and lost all my confidence.  So by this point I owned her, I made the hard choice that I needed to sell her.  Why? Cause she was to good and I was now terrified.  I wasn't getting any younger by this point so after two and a half years together I put her up for sale and said goodbye to my second horse.  

When I sold Rayne it was because I had made the choice I wasn't getting passed the wall that was stopping me from doing what she needed to do.  So I was on the hunt for another.  And I found him.  Along came Solomon.  Or as Leo named him for shows "Quiet Confidence". and boy was he.  He gave me back ALL that I had lost with Rayne and then some.  Being in my late 30's by this point in my life with Rayne I knew I couldn't afford to have nasty falls and that's why I stopped being able to ride the way Rayne needed.  The first time I tried Solo I did something I told my coach and friend at the time I wouldn't do.  So that day the descision was made to sell Rayne and buy Solo.  So he came home and we spent another two and a half years together.  He taught me so much and even got my 60 year old mother riding in weekly lessons til she hurt herself at work then that kind of ended for her but she still came to every lesson and every show.  

I kept Solo til my I blew the engine in my truck and I needed to try and replace the engine.  Well working in a factory you don't make a shit ton of money no matter what people think.  So we put a refurbished engine in, it was cheaper.  Little did we know there was a crack in the engine block so the truck was dead.  Well we needed two vehicles cause I needed to get to and from work and Leo wouldn't have driven me as early as I liked to get to work, so I went and managed to find a car that I could afford payments on.  But alas, affording the payments on the car meant I didn't have the money for Solo so I was losing yet another horse.  Luckily one of my best friends bought him from me and told me I could see him whenever I wanted.  I was thankful for that and knew he'd be well taken care of.

Now that's the updates on the horses.  How I miss all three.  2019 brought changes to my family life.  Leo and I had been together for 18 years by this point.  I had started talking to a guy in another country, and we hit it off.  Yes I was involved in an adult type game online but that's another story for another day if you're lucky.  I decided to go and see him and what had now become one of my best friend's, like a sister, down in Wisconsin and did it over my 40th birthday.  First big trip I took anywhere on a plane myself.  It was a great two weeks.  Two other friends came down and we just partied for my birthday.  

I also did a lot of soul searching those two weeks and decided that Leo and I had drifted apart.  Hell by this point we weren't even sharing the same bed.  Yeah it sucked but what do you do when things have run their course? Leo and I are still friend's to this day, hell we have a child together. But I started dating the Winconsin guy and we were making plans that eventually I would move down there.  So I was going down quite often after working 8 hours at work then drive another 8 to get to his place and then come home after a weekend.  Usually it was long weekends but still it worked for awhile.  

He came up here a couple times.  Once I had tickets to see Luke Bryan from the floor in Detroit and my best friend who was supposed to come wasn't able to make it so boyfriend of the year, told me I wasn't going to Detroit by myself, little does he know I would have been going, I mean it was floor seats for Luke fricking Bryan for christ sake! So he and I stayed in Leo's house, why you may ask, well cause Leo and I built a wall to separate off the living room into a little bachelor type apartment for me.  He and Alex never used the living room as a living room and there was the extra bathroom with a shower downstairs.  It worked out for us while I was trying to get on my feet.  So the four of us were one happy family for a few months that he was up from Wisconsin.  Concert had been in October and I didn't have any time to take him home til December at Christmas.  

During his time up here I was a member of a Billiard team and he inadvertently joined while he was here.  It was great, gave us something to do.  Little did either of us know but in October sometime I ended up pregnant.  Course I didn't find out til one night in December we were getting ready to go on a date and I said something about clothing that had fit me two months ago.  He jokingly said something about me being pregnant and I brushed it off til we got a test and surprise! Unfortunately tragedy struck and I miscarried.  Wooo 4th one.  So that was a crappy Christmas.  Having to have surgery and then drive 8 hours to Winsconsin to take him home.  Well he had to come back in March for play offs for Billiards so I went back down and got him. No he didn't drive.  But I didn't mind.  I was just happy to see him.  

So March of 2020.  The year the world shut down.  I'm sure if any of you readers are around my age or a few years younger or older you all know about the lovely COVID-19.  He was here, we played one week of play offs and everything shut down.  Including the boarder.  Now if you remember he didn't drive, he didn't have a passport that would allow him to travel by plane, apparently that's a thing in the states.  Who knew? The only thing we have in Canada is one and that's what you need for all travel by Plane, car, boat, bus, truck, whatever. So he was essentially stuck here.  We kept hoping that the boarder would open at some point, but as the months went on it didn't look like it was happening.  So he was stuck here for 6 months. In those 6 months we couldn't go anywhere and the most separation we got was when I went back to work after being laid off for three months.  After 6 months things started opening back up and a plan was made to get him home. So off he went in August of 2020.  He'd been home for a week and I finally asked him, cause he'd been distant with me after getting home, if we were good and that's when he told me he loved me but not as a girlfriend anymore.  

To say I was shocked would be an understatement.  I hit rock bottom drank farrrrrr more than I should and didn't want to get out of bed.  Was off work for a month, even with sick leave not paying me any money.  I was broke.  Needless to say I wasn’t in a good place.  I basically stopped everything I loved including playing World of Warcraft, only my most fave computer game ever. 

So November of 2020 was bad.  Got through Christmas somehow.  Made it through January and in February started talking to a guy named Dave. We started talking and then met up and started dating. I would drive up to his parents place where he was living, ever weekend.  Met his two youngest kids.  Ok they were 7 and 12 at the time. We did a lot of things together through the summer as things were opening back up after being closed cause of COVID. Mom and I moved into an apartment together after I moved out of Leo’s place and Dave helped me move my stuff in, mom hired movers.  That was in June.  October Dave kind of moved down with mom and I so he could try and find work in the city where there is transit since he doesnt’ have his licence.  That was the change.  It was getting to the holiday season and we didn’t really have money for gifts so he borrowed money from his mom to have presents for the 4 kids at the time.  Mom got mad and shit hit the fan so he decided he was gonna move home to his parents and I looked for a new job closer to him and then at Christmas moved in with him and his parents and started a new job January 11 2022.  

Now three years later we have a townhouse of our own have three of his 4 kids living with us and see Alex once in awhile when he comes up for weekends.  Crazy how things work out. I mean we have had our share of crap happening too.  The whole reason we needed to get a place of our own cause his dad was diagnosed with cancer and his parents were selling the house so we needed to move.  Sadly his dad lost his battle in December of 2023 so that sucks.  Then 2 months later grandma went in for surgery and got an infection and passed away in February of 2024.  So here’s hoping 2025 is a little better. 

Congratulations if you’ve made it through my update on my life from what 2013 or something?  Oh yeah something else I forgot.  I’ve been working on starting my own sublimated tumbler, coaster, baby items business.  Make some extra money to help with bills and stuff.  

Think I’m leaving this here for now.  Hopefully I’ll keep up with all this time.  LOL. 

Long time no chat....

Wow I knew I'd fall behind, it always happens.

Anyway I'm just feeling the need to get some stuff out and on the computer screen so if you don't want to read then feel free to leave this page.


I'll start with back in the summer.  This summer, June 2013 to be exact I left my job of driving school bus a week early to start with Transport Training Centers of Canada to get my AZ license to drive Transport Truck.  That was great.  I learned what I needed to do, and that included learning how to drive standard as I had never done it before in my life, to take my road test August 7th 2013 where I passed and got my License.  YAY for me.  I totally didn't think I would pass but everyone else felt that I would.

That was great. I had my license so now came the part of finding a job. I was looking for mostly local work, meaning I would be home everyday which would have been great since Alex got the diagnoses of Aspergers Syndrome from a physcologist, well that's what she's figuring anyway.  Couldn't find local work.  Or at least any local work that people would give a chance to someone just coming out of school.  So I went back to driving school bus while talking everything over with Leo about what I was going to do.  My biggest fear has always been that I'll pay for the $8000 course and it'll do me no good cause I can't get a job.  Well we decided that for the year or so for me to get the experience I'd go to a job that would have me working over the road so after getting my passport and applying for what I needed, I applied to a few places for OTR work.  Finally I got an email and phone call from one company who incidently had come into the school to talk to us about working for them.  Anyway they told me what I had to do and I did it and I started training with them in November.  Everything was going great.  I did a weekend full of in class training, then went for a week with a trainer half days while the other half days were spent in the classroom or on the computer doing things.  Finally I was paired up with a training engineer to go out and learn about crossing the border and stuff.  That was great except for the 2nd day we turned on the heat in the truck and the windshield cracked. If we'd have gotten stopped we would have had a fine.  So we took our delivery to Illinois and dropped it off early, because it was thanksgiving for our american friend's, and drove back to the Operating center in Gary Indiana.   We went into the shop and told the mechanic about it and he said he would let the glass guy know and he should do it Friday morning cause he was pretty sure the glass guy wasn't going to be in on Thanksgiving.  So we were stuck at the OC (operating center) for at least Thursday.   Friday come along and apparently the mechanic from Wednesday didn't call it in so we were then told that the mechanic who was on at that time would call the glass guy and hopefully he'd be in that day but he may not come til Monday.   Looks like it's gonna be day number two.  So we finally find out that yes the glass guy would be in but we weren't sure what time he was coming.  The desicion was made that we would stay in a hotel room, paid for by the company, for the Friday night and then leave Saturday if the windshield was fixed.  As we were getting in the hotel shuttle the glass guy got there and was fixing the window. 

Finally we left at 6 the next morning from the hotel and were able to get a load heading back up here to the great white north.  So we do our pretrip and everything and headed out to pick up our load.  Unfortunetly we get there and we don't have a pick up number.  So once more we had to sit and wait.  We had to wait 3 hours before we finally had a number.  Thankfully it didn't take long for they loaders to load us and we were finally on our way heading to Canada.  By now this is Saturday afternoon and my TE was leaving on Holiday on Wednesday so our days were numbered.  We managed to pull into a truck stop in Windsor Ontario after crossing the border Saturday night and that's where we slept in the truck.  Sunday it was a trip to Montreal Quebec with a quick stop at another OC in Guelph, our home OC.  Finally we make it to Montreal where we dropped our loaded trailer, and then once more we had to wait on a trailer that was to go to GM.  Got the trailer over there on the Monday and then got another load to be picked up so we headed to pick up an empty trailer in Laval Quebec and headed to Gatineau Quebec where we got loaded and headed on back to our home OC.  Monday night we arrived and stayed in the truck.  Tuesday came and I spoke with the trainer who trained me in class, and even asked if I could have more days out with another TE as the guys who had trained with me were getting 10-12 days or so out before they were gonna have to do their road tests.  My in class trainer asked how many days we were out and we told him 8 and he said he was fine with that.  Trouble was I wasn't.  He started me on what they call soft skills stuff and then another trainer came up to me and said we were going to go and do my SQT (skills qualification test) well I told him I wasn't ready so we were able to put it off.  To bad we couldn't have put it off a little longer, because I had to do it the next day. 

Wednesday I showed up at the OC at 7 to do the SQT.  Went out and drove the truck and failed like I knew I would because I wasn't confident in a couple of the skills I was asked to do.  So was told that I was going out either right away or in the afternoon with another trainer to do it again.  Did they offer me any time to practice? Nope.  No time to work on what I had trouble with so I just had to go and do it again after lunch.  After lunch came and I failed yet again.  Why? Because I still had issues with the same things.  So was told I would have to do it the next day.  Was I ready? Did I have a chance to work on the issues? Again the answer is a big fat NO so went out with yet another trainer.  As we were walking to the truck, the trainer says, "When you pass today this will be your truck" I felt better, felt more confident and just prayed I wasn't asked to do the one thing I knew I couldn't do.  Did my prayers come true? Nope I ended up having to do it again.  And once again I couldn't do it.  So that made number 3 a complete fail as well.  When we got back to the OC I was asked how I thought it went. I said I thought it went ok except for one turn and that if I had a couple more days just working on that then I'd be fine and would be able to pass.  Was told that he couldn't give me anymore time and that I had failed, but he'd mark me as OK for rehire and that if I went out and got a job with a company that did more local, city deliveries that I could come back, do a road test and they'd rehire me.  So that left me unemployed.

So that brings me to today.  It's now been 10 days and I've been out applying to other jobs but so far none of them have worked out.  I had one interview and they passed on me cause they don't feel I can make the commitment for the two years they want. 

This close to Christmas and I'm depressed.  I can't afford Christmas presents for my kid,  I can't afford my horse and am seriously considering selling him since I can't ask Leo to pay for him for me.  I'm supposed to be moving him the end of the month and I don't know how I'm going to afford that either.  Leo suggested going back to driving bus, but there's only a week left before the kids are out for school break for Christmas.  I have no idea what I'm going to do cause I can't even seem to get a job working at McDonald's. 


Needless to say feeling like shit right now, and needing a way to escape reality if even for a few hours.  And seeing the Hobbit last night didn't help even if my best friend thought it would. 

I think the only thing that would help right now would be a job, but I'm beginning to wonder if that will ever happen.

Life couldn't be all roses right?

So I haven't written for a few days but here's another update.

Things with Jack are wonderful for the most part.  He's such a good horse.  So fun to ride.  Haven't done anything but walk on him and the occasional steps in trot when he was feeling grumpy.  Yes the extent of his grumpiness is getting into a trot and backing up at the halt, both no big deals for me to handle.

So for the summer months at least I was going to have him on Pasture Board where he'd be outside all day and night, then for the winter months bring him in.  June 30th was the first night he was left out, and immediately jumped or tried to jump a 4ft fence, when I say tried he ended up breaking the fence so the pasture horses all escaped, luckily the barn manager and staff were still there to round them up. 

Barn manager tried to put him in the field again with the horses on Pasture board and he didn't want to have anything to do with them, once again attempting his escape over the 4ft fence.  Needless to say he's now in a field with one other horse at night but with his friend's the rest of the day. 

Got a text today from the barn manager saying that he's not handling the outdoor board and that he's lost a lot of weight.  So now I'm scrambling trying to figure out just how I can keep him happy, and keep the weight on him and not be in debt up to my ears.

I'm going to look at one barn tonight, that is a possibility to move him too if the barn is nice and the cost is in my price range.  It wouldn't be such a big deal, I'd put him on indoor at the place we're at if I was working still, but with it being summer, I'm off for two months. If I end up staying at Walden Ridge, I will look for a Part Boarder but if I do move him to this other barn I wouldn't need one.

All of that board stuff after I actually took the plunge and got on him without my Alli safety blanket, as I call her, getting on him before me and being there for me.  :)  I got on him with Leo there watching me and holding him for me when I needed!!!!!  I had gone out the night before I got one him with the intent to get on him that night but I chickened out, using the excuse the bugs were bad when really it was my low self esteem getting in the way.  Other people were in the ring and I thought more about what they MIGHT think about me then what I really wanted to do.  So Leo and I went out yesterday morning, after I cried the night before cause I couldn't get on him, and I got on him while no one else was around. :)  I cried again but they were happy tears this time. :)  So now I know I can get on my horse without my safety blanket. :)

Our first ride together without Alli our safety blanket. 

I knew it wasn't going to be all roses with him, he had to make my life difficult in some way. :)

Good thing he's cute and I love him. :)

I love my horse!

I love my horse!  Have I mentioned that? I'm sure I must have because I absolutely LOVE my horse!

I went out to the barn to work him a bit tonight on the lunge line and this time we didn't need to use the whip as motivation! YAY!  He's such a smart horse.  I walked him and trotted him on both reins and then decided to see how he did on the Canter.  We picked it up on the right rein in no time! The left we were a little slower with but eventually got it. :) Then I let him off the lunge line to see what he would do and he walked right over to a corner of the outdoor ring and started munching on grass.  Yes he's very food motivated. :) I got the lead rope on his halter and then walked him around the ring a bit.  Had him step over a trot pole that was on the ground.  At first he didn't want to step over it and tried to fight me but eventually he got the hang of it and walked over like a pro. :)  We walked over a few more a few times then I thought what the hell let's try a trot over a pole.  The only time he's trotted over a pole he actually jumped it when Alli was on his back.  Tonight there was no jump. He just trotted over it like a pro star!

Have I mentioned I love him? ;)  

When I got him back to the barn I started scratching him by his the crest of his neck and he was making funny faces cause apparently that's his sweet spot. Leo got video of it with my phone.

Don't mind my disgustingness.  I'm still working on getting me in shape.

Another installment of teaching a young horse to lunge!

Ok well he sort of knows how to lunge, now it's just expanding on that. LOL

Friday night I came home from work, decided to go for supper so loaded the car with Alex, Judy and I and we went to Swiss Chalet before we headed to the barn.  I'd promised Alex he could come see Jack Friday night and it worked well cause Leo had a gaming session so he wasn't home.  Anyway we had supper then went to the barn.  As always Jack was in his stall munching, I swear he's very motivated by food. Pulled him out of his stall away from his precious hay, and put him in cross ties.  Alex at first wanted to groom him so I said he and Judy could groom him.  Suddenly Alex didn't want to groom him after only doing half of a horse.  Little brat. ;) Anyway Judy finished grooming him while I made him look like a dork. 

I know, he's a gelding but wear's purple.  He's sure of his manly ness. :)  After Judy finished brushing his tail I took him to the ring with the lunge line and we decided to do some lunging.  There were already a few people in the ring so I wasn't sure how exactly this would work, good thing the ring is HUGE!  Well he was good at picking up each rein in the walk and trot, I decided to brave it and try some cantering.  Hahahaha.  That ended up being a joke.  Couldn't get it on the one rein but got a few strides on the other.  I was happy with that.  I'm not in a big rush with him and so I'm not going to push him.  We'll progress when we're both in shape.  Course if I don't get my butt back into the gym he'll be in better shape than I will. LOL 

Anyway didn't do anything with him today since it was raining and we don't have an indoor ring but hopefully after work tomorrow I don't have to take mom to the hospital to have her knee looked at and Alli and I can get to the barn and ride him.

Jack

So I decided to go a different route with this.  Now my blog is going to be my adventures with horse ownership. :)

As some of you may know, cause I'm not sure who actually reads this, but I bought a horse! YAY ME!  Ok I wasn't intending on buying one right right away cause I figured I'd work, save up the money to buy a new computer and then the truck and then finally a horse.  So I got a little messed up on the order.  But anyway, Alli, my coach and friend, will sometimes buy horses and train them and resell them sort of like flipping houses but with horses and the very risk of death and or injury all the time.  Now normally she get's the crazy horses and retrains them and resells them.  So when she told me she got a new horse I figured he was cute but was going to be crazy.  Boy was I surprised! She gave me the details on him- 4 years old, off the track, 16.3hh(every hand is four inches)-but imagine my surprise when she tells me he's sane and actually kind of lazy and that he'd be the perfect first horse for me!

I told hubby about it and he just smiled.  Alli kept telling me to hurry up and get the money and buy him. I was like "If only I could" she kept telling me she'd take payments.  :)  I sat down and talked to hubby, and Judy who's living with us now, and jokingly told Alli that I would talk to Judy and see if she could help me for now and I'd pay her back. Once again surprise number 2, Judy said she would!  So it was settled and Alli and I decided how much a month I would pay her and so on and so forth.  So for the next year or so I'm paying her at least a couple hundred.  Plus then I have to pay for board, and farrier (which is pretty decent since he's barefoot) and Vet. All in all not bad.

So yes I've bought a horse. 

My life is really a zoo now! 

So I haven't actually ridden him much yet, just still getting to know him.  Everything will come in due time. :) I love him already. He's a smart little cookie and nothing phases him.  Except being in his little three stall barn without his other two friend's.  Though starting in a couple weeks he's going to be an outdoor pony for the summer. :) The barn where he's at is about a block from the region's international airport, so the planes fly over head constantly.  He doesn't care.  I was walking around the arena on Friday on his back and a plane flew over head, a car horn honked right beside the ring and one drove past him and he didn't care. I love him!

I've started, since I don't get on him by myself quite yet, that I'm lunging him.  I don't do it to long with him as he is still learning this.  They don't lunge on the track so he had to be taught. The other night we tried and we just were both getting frustrated so I stopped.  He got one way but couldn't figure out the other. I let him be for a few days, he had his feet trimmed last night, so I made the trek out to the barn tonight and decided to try again.  Well I wasn't about to give up on the side he was struggling with, though when he still wasn't getting in after 20 minutes I was feeling VERY frustrated, but we kept at it and FINALLY he got it!  I'm so proud of him!  So I didn't do much more, and left it on a good note!  I love it when it clicks!  More later after our next adventure in Lunging. :)

Alli Riding him.

Never seen a pole on the ground before! Went over it!

Alex loves him too. 

Something that kept me distracted

This is just something quick that I did while trying to be distracted. 

A before and After. 

Before 

After

 

 

 

  So fooling around here's a before and after.  What do you think? Skills in PSE are getting better huh? ;)